Monday, March 13, 2006

my name is ej and i'm a target-holic

So how gorgeous was it this weekend? What'd you all do to enjoy the sunshine? Me, I spent money I don't have on stuff I don't need!

The advent of spring means tank top season, and so I ran to Target yesterday to pick up a package of wifebeaters. I left eighty minutes later and $127 poorer. Target is lethal like that. I should not be allowed in there unsupervised and in possession of a working credit card. Among the unplanned items I purchased:

* DVD of Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
* 26 plastic hangers
* Purple gaucho pants
* 1-inch barrel curling iron (please note I already own both a 3/4 inch and a 1.5 inch model)
* Men's XL flannel "Vote for Pedro" pajama pants
* Stuf by Hillary Duff washcloths

I think you get the point.

Seriously, is there a support group for people who have no self-control at Target? If there isn't, I'd gladly start it. We'd only go there at preassigned times, as to resist the bored whimsy that often strikes when there's nothing good on TV and we think to ourselves "I really need a Wet-Dry Vac and some new mascara." We'd go in groups and unplanned purchases would have to be defended by the shopper and voted on by the assembled party:

"I need this Bocce ball set because it's marked down from $89 to $73."
"But you live on the eleventh floor of a city building. There's no grass within five blocks of your home."
"... Did I mention it was on sale?"

There would be no visit to the DVD section. No good could come of it. We would decide what we wanted to own and order it on Amazon. And upon checkout, we would be required to give a final inspection of the contents of one another's carts, harshly determining the necessity of proposed purchases.

I really feel that there's a market for this.

7 comments:

Becky L said...

lol! i'm totally addicted to target as well. i love it there.

Lucy said...

You assume that Target junkies want to reform. Me, I'm happy being addicted. (At least, until I get my credit card bill.)

I-66 said...

So we know very well where you stand on the Target v. WalMart issue...

Not that I would've figured you for Wally World. Just sayin...

Libberash said...

Whatever dude, the pedro pants are hot.

Heather B. said...

Hi my name is Heather and I'm obsessed with target. It's like I go in there and suddenly want stuff that i never knew I wanted until I got there.

EJ Takes Life said...

I knew there'd be fellow addicts out there! RC, I agree-- the addiction is way more fun than sobriety. Bec-- With Ikea, I know I'm going to leave nine hours later and much, much poorer (and hating humanity), but with Target I still kid myself that I'm capable of control. But Libs-- the Pedro pants are fugly. You have born witness to the fug. I will only wear them padding over to your house for Sunday night TV.

Lindsay said...

I spent money at Home Depot this weekend...on a grill and charcoal...ah, spring, how I love thee!