Tuesday, October 10, 2006

optional step four: slink away in mortified shame

How To Lose All Dignity In Front Of Your Shoe Repairman: A Three-Step Plan

1) Rummage through handbag for wallet, setting various items on the counter as you sift through the contents. Extract wallet from bag and begin to return items on counter to the bag. Only then, note that one of these items is a mini bottle of Wild Turkey.*

2) Hastily shove whiskey back into handbag, open wallet and hand repairman credit card. Continue returning items to handbag, then pause when you see repairman extending credit card back to you. Realize with horror that instead of your AmEx, you handed him a condom. From Brew at the Zoo. With "Wrap It Up, You Animals!" written on the packaging.

3) In an effort to make light of an awkward moment, burble "Well, that's one way to pay for re-heeling my boots!"

*It's for my voice. Seriously. It's also left over from the show I did last fall and I'd already embarassed myself with it in a similar scenario in the library. Perhaps it is time to consider cleaning out this particular bag.


Jen said...

You're my favorite sister ever.

I-66 said...

Oh my.

So many ways to go with this.

What is evident is that you don't dump the contents from current bag into next bag before making the switch. I find that odd. But I guess I've neither owned a bag of that nature, nor actually seen the process that is undertaken when switching bags for seasonal or outfit reasons... I just assumed that was the procedure

sparkles anonymous! said...

Most excellent.

Me, I end up dumping eyelash glue, false eyelashes, and costume jewelry out when I empty my bag. Yours is funnier.

Hey Pretty said...

I'm sure he loved it.

Lindsay said...

I actually laughed out loud while reading this...loved it!