one of those entries that would make my parents SHRIVEL with pride

"So when we do blow off a hooker, do you think it would cost more to do it off the ass or the belly button?"

"Wait, out the ass or off the ass? Because that's an important distinction."

"No, no, off, definitely cheek region, nothing internalized."

"Okay, in that case I'd have to say belly button."

"Really! You think? I'd have said ass for sure."

"Yeah, like, how can a belly button be more intimate than the ass?"

"It's not a matter of intimacy, it's simple physiology. The belly button has more crevasses, more coke would get caught in the skin flaps. You'd inevitably wind up spending a lot more just because you wouldn't be able to hoover everything you put in there, whereas on an asscheek, it would be much more efficient."

"Oh, wait, we're talking two separate paradigms here."

"Yeah, you're talking overall cost of the endeavor, while I'm talking cost of the hooker. As in, how much would she charge you for letting her do blow out of her belly button versus off of her ass."

"Ohhh, that makes sense. No, I see what you're saying."

"Yeah, she would likely charge less for the belly button, but it wouldn't make up for the deficit of extra coke lost in the flesh folds."

"You do realize this is the worst conversation anyone has ever had, ever in the history of all time?"

"Yes, completely."

"Good, just making sure."