This was waiting for me in my work email this morning. Several thoughts entered my head when I saw this photo, and naturally, I am compelled to share them with you now:
- Judging by the dopey grin on the whale's face, this is quite possibly the first time he's ever been laid.
- Is the blue of the sheet meant to represent the ocean? The mystical memory of humankind rising forth from the primordial sea, leaving our fishy ancestors behind as we ventured into the exciting world of processing oxygen, knowing we would someday metaphorically return to our homeland via a union with a whale? Or is it just what the prop guy happened to have on hand?
- What, praytell, is a "pensis?" It is what the kids these days are calling penpals? If so, might one also have a penbro? Or does that make you penbi? Might parents write to their penkids? Curiouser and curiouser, indeed...
- Why is the whale using "LOL?" He lacks the opposable thumbs to instant-message, and presumably the vocal cords that would enable him to "LOL" in the first place. I agree with him that the size of her husband's pensis is indeed amusing, but find his word choice in expressing the matter to be somewhat surprising.
- There is a "humpback whale" joke somewhere in here but I can't quite flesh it out. Suggestions?
- This is the best spam email I've ever gotten. Including the one that asked if Thumb Drives were the modern-day Dongle.
- Judging by the dopey grin on the whale's face, this is quite possibly the first time he's ever been laid.
- Is the blue of the sheet meant to represent the ocean? The mystical memory of humankind rising forth from the primordial sea, leaving our fishy ancestors behind as we ventured into the exciting world of processing oxygen, knowing we would someday metaphorically return to our homeland via a union with a whale? Or is it just what the prop guy happened to have on hand?
- What, praytell, is a "pensis?" It is what the kids these days are calling penpals? If so, might one also have a penbro? Or does that make you penbi? Might parents write to their penkids? Curiouser and curiouser, indeed...
- Why is the whale using "LOL?" He lacks the opposable thumbs to instant-message, and presumably the vocal cords that would enable him to "LOL" in the first place. I agree with him that the size of her husband's pensis is indeed amusing, but find his word choice in expressing the matter to be somewhat surprising.
- There is a "humpback whale" joke somewhere in here but I can't quite flesh it out. Suggestions?
- This is the best spam email I've ever gotten. Including the one that asked if Thumb Drives were the modern-day Dongle.
11 comments:
You are on fire.
And I'm not just saying that because I want to give you a ride-by-ass-grabbing.
I've got nothing on the humpback. I keep thinking "sperm whale."
Whales in general have VERY large penises. Like 6 feet long large.
Although, I'm assuming the penis of a stuffed Orca must be indeed very large.
I got this SAME email this morning. We must be on the same spam list.
The commentary is even better than the picture.
jo has a point. i think whales do have very large penises. (maybe i've been watching too much planet earth on the discovery channel?)
so is it really fair to compare her husband's penis to a whale's penis?
also, i really hope what comes out of all this is a new phrase: hung like a whale. or better yet, hung like a stuffed orca that some prop guy stole from his 6-year-old's bedroom. (the latter may be too long to really catch on.)
S, I love it! "Hung like a whale" is the new "hung like a moose."
I suggest you make someone a pensis cake for their next function.
EJ, this is why I'm a sycophantic, huggy blob when I see you.
Dolphins are no slouches either, you know, and are more apt to at least make an attempt to get up on you. I've heard stories about swimming with the dolphins gone awry.
That's a killer whale too. He could fight off the opposition from the other large pensis bearing animals of the sea.
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