Friday, September 21, 2007

terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

It's now 4:24. I am going to spend the next thirty-six minutes writing a post on how, without any exaggeration or overstatement, this week has sucked hairy donkey nuts.

The friend to whom I semi-apologized yet called on her own behavior on Monday? Never wrote back.

Work, where I am doing great things and getting great results and everyone except one fairly important person loves everything I do? It's getting more and more like Sybil every day. Tune in Monday to find out what personality we encounter today! I should start placing bets. 2-1 odds on Doting Mentor over Faye Dunaway channeling Joan Crawford!

School? Have read over 400 pages in the last four days and am nowhere near close to done. All I want to do is spend the weekend drinking enough vodka so that I never feel feelings again. Instead, I will put in a token appearance at tonight's happy hour to drink a Diet Coke and will spend the rest of the weekend reading about the British rape of sub-Saharan Africa and American imperialism masquerading as development aid in the Middle East. It would have been so nice to have been a grad student before revisionist history came into vogue. For a White Liberal Guilter like me, studying has become an exercise in self-flagellation, a constant reminder of the myriad ways in which my country has consciously and systematically fucked the rest of the world for the ill-defined goal of "bettering American lives."

My holiday in Turkey? Cancelled. The friend I was going to go with bailed on me. I will now spend Thanksgiving in the small Midwestern town where my parents live, playing host to a family reunion. Because after four family weddings this year, I'm just dying for more quality time with people who think I'm a spoiled, alcoholic, snobby, bitchy slut.

Plus, the Wolverines still aren't that great and I'm very scared for the Penn State game tomorrow, I'm fighting a cold and tomorrow I have to go buy skinny jeans, an activity sure to plunge even Kate Moss into a turgid, foamy sea of self-loathing.

But on the plus side, now it's 5:00. And I think I will have at least one little gimlet at happy hour, after all.


Hey Pretty said...

Oh, EJ. My invitation from earlier this week still stands. If you need us, you know where we'll be.

Kristin said...

I'm sorry about your week, your trip, everything. I wish I could take you with me to India or cancel my trip and go with you to Turkey or do something to make it better.

Anonymous said...

Sorry you had a lousy week, sweetie. Hey! You can come home with me for Thanksgiving--we spoiled, alcoholic, snobby, bitchy sluts have to stick together, after all. ;-)