Monday, March 06, 2006

it's hard out here for a girl who wanted brokeback mountain to sweep the oscars

Dear Members of the Academy,

Seriously? CRASH? I know it's set in LA and you guys love watching your town onscreen, but didn't you find it just a touch... oh, I don't know, condescending, overbearing, pedantic, unrealistic and simplistic and not to mention TOTALLY INSULTING to have a film about comtemporary racism be made entirely by white people?

Although, well-played on Best Song. You guys always award actresses for playing hookers, but then they disappoint us by showing up in clothes that (well, sometimes) cover their goodies. Just put the hoes onstage! Way to cut out the middleman!

I enjoyed the tasteful tributes to film noir and what I think was musical films... I happened to miss that intro because us girls were hollering really loudly upon finding out that one of our ranks doesn't get the appeal of George Clooney. Side note: do you guys also think that if George Clooney and Oprah ever teamed up, they could conquer and run the entire planet? Can we appoint an Academy committee to explore the logistics of such a campaign?

And thanks for choosing Jon Stewart. He can come back next year and that'd be just fine with me.

Your friend,


PS: Giuliana DePandi, what the hell was up with your nipples? Were you icing them every time the camera panned to Isaac Mizrahi, knowing that he wouldn't be allowed to fondle anyone during this awards show and therefore E! would have to find some other way to have really tasteless breast action in their red carpet coverage? Or was it really just a chilly spring afternoon in Los Angeles?


Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

Yeah, I don't care what the critics are saying. I hearted John Stewart last night.

(And also Clooney...sigh)

VP of Dior said...

oh i thought crash deserved to win. i can say from first hand accounts that some eff-ed up scary shit goes down due to racism, even in the 21st century.

oh george clooney is just so damn DAPPER!

Adam said...

Have to disagree completely with your assessment of "Crash." I found it to be an incredibly powerful movie. Was it a tad contrived? Sure (most movies are, unless they're documentaries). But I found it to be contrived in a very compelling way, and I thought it was the best movie that I saw this year.

And as for George Clooney... I'd like to know who said that, because hell... even I get the appeal of George Clooney and I'm a straight male!

ejtakeslife said...

Marci- Mmmmmmhmmmmmm!

Adam- That would be one Republican roommate of your girlfriend's former roommate. Try to figure that out, Internet.

Adam and VP- Oka, to be fair, I thought the acting in Crash was superb. But I don't think it had anything helpful to contribute except showing us that people are capable of being thoughtless and cruel when it comes to race. I think a truly groundbreaking movie about modern racism would be about something more subtle and insidious, less blunt. I read a review that referred to Crash as being Ayn Rand-like, and I think that's a fair assessment.

I think it could have been a great film, but it was just so large and bloated with its own importance. Movies like Brokeback make a big impact because their characters are such well-developed individuals that they can't help but resonate with the audience. Movies that are about messages, not characters, actually make it harder to get that message out.