Confessions of a 23-year-old drama queen

If you cancel our plans because you need to go apartment hunting and car fixing, I will be a little upset but I will be understanding. If you cancel our plans for these reasons and then leave me alone in a bar while you go talk to other people for an hour, I will be very upset and I will not be understanding.

Ex-girlfriends are a sore spot. I don't care about them as people, I don't want to know anything about your relationship and I will view them with suspicion no matter what. Sorry, it's my one completely irrational, obnoxiously stereotypical girl thing I do (besides spending entire days watching Sex and the City DVD,s but we don't talk about that I said that is not the point here!). I don't like her, I don't like that she's still in your phone and your life, and I will not ever try to change my mind. The last time I did that, I wound up getting cheated on. End of discussion. And by the way, when your new girlfriend has the same name as your old one, do you think it might be just a touch insulting to have your new girlfriend listed as [Name] 2????

Which brings me to the confession that I see metaphor, allegory and meaning where there is none. It's a girl thing, a writer thing, an acting thing, but I will see subtext when all you mean was exactly what was said, no more and no less. I know that's really bad, and I'm trying to stop. I'm a lot better than I used to be, seriously. For example, I once picked a fight with someone entirely based on the fact that he gave me cookies for an anniversary, when I'd totally set myself up for it by suggesting that we "make gifts for each other." Wow, someone baked for me, what an asshole. Yet of course, I flew off the handle, saw it as a symbol for all that was wrong, and dumped him a week later. God, I'm a bad person.

Look, there are things I want to fix and change about myself, and then there's stuff there that's pretty okay. You were right when you said that I'm holding back, that I'm not letting you see all of me. Frankly, that's because I want you to still like me. When I was growing up, my mother used to say to me "EJ, you and I are like spinach. Not everyone likes us, but we're good for people."

Sometimes I get tired of being good for people. Sometimes I just want people to find me pleasant and adorable.

And, in my final confession, sometimes I work stuff out by writing about it on a website.